It shouldn't be me

“…Oh n btw, next week onwards I won't be online n no sms cos u know... don't want trouble…”

What was that? Did u think I was stupid enough to do all that knowing she's gonna be with you? Did u think u had to warn me not to? Wait a sec... you shouldn't even be doing any shit with me if you were worried about getting into trouble. Hell you shouldn't even want to do shit with me in the very first place!!!!

So why am I doing shit with you? As the feminist I am, I realise I shouldn't. I always think about how your girlfriend would feel if she found out. Sure we're not going all the way, although that's only cos I haven't allowed it. But... how would she feel if she found out you wanted someone else? How would I feel if I had been going out with a guy for so long and found out that he wants someone else? I picture you bringing her out with your group of friends, all knowing about me. All liking me better. With one of your closest friend wishing you'd dump her and be with me instead. How would I feel if I were in her shoes? Horrible. Devastated. Heart broken. Broken beyond words.

And then I think... why should your guilt conscience lie on me? You should be worrying about all that. Not me.